


[create new chat]

by notkai



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, At least I tried for humor, Canon Character of Color, Character(s) of Color, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Discussions of Race, Gen, Humor, Kat bullying the fuck outta Kayn, Multi, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sexual Tension, Texting, Zed the dad friend, barely, can you tell kayn is my fav, chatfic, will become less irreverent as time goes on, will update eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-05-08 01:50:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14683923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notkai/pseuds/notkai
Summary: Modern college AU complete with tequila, texting, and regrets.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> god i cant fuckin believe im writing for this hell fandom again anyway chatfics have a special place in my heart and they're easy to maintain so?? why not give it a shot!! if u liked this leave a kudos or a comment if you're feeling frisky and ill update eventually ty for reading

Shauna Vayne: artemis - Pre-Law Student, Freelance Artist  
Khada Jhin: jhinovaswitness - Dancer, Art History/Visual Arts Student, Freelance Artist  
Shieda Kayn: kaynyounot - Graphic Design Student, Barista  
Katarina Du Couteau: coutabitch - Boxer, Human Ecology Student   
Cassiopeia Du Couteau: cascouteau - Model, Gender Studies Student

 

[Group: tequila fuckers]

kaynyounot: petition to put cassiopeia down  
cascouteau: whY??  
kaynyounot: you made me take tequila shots last night im in pAIN  
jhinovaswitness: kayn, dearest friend and fellow student  
jhinovaswitness: shut the fuck up  
coutabitch: oml who changed the chat name  
kaynyounot: random guess??? ur shithead sister  
kaynyounot: love u cass pls dont kill me  
cascouteau: only bc im feeling merciful  
artemis: hhHHHHh   
jhinovaswitness: what a big mood  
artemis: JHIN  
kaynyounot: please stop text shouting ur making my headache worse  
artemis: JHINNIFER  
coutabitch: whEEZE  
jhinovaswitness: that is,,,,not my name  
artemis: can u pls bring me some water  
jhinovaswitness: ye   
cascouteau: rt if u ship the Goth Artists^tm   
coutabitch: rtrt  
kaynyounot: rt   
artemis: this is harassment   
jhinovaswitness: also???? neither of us? are goth???  
coutabitch: okay but,,, have u considered vayne's platforms   
artemis: LEAVE MY SHOES ALONE U THOT   
coutabitch: CAAASS SHE CALLED ME A THOT  
cascouteau: well shes right   
kaynyounot: wow theres no recovering from that   
cascouteau: also her last name is VAYNE thats the most dark romanticism thing ive ever heard  
jhinovaswitness: i don't think you understand what dark romanticism is   
kaynyounot: pls dont explain it to us  
kaynyounot: i dont have enough energy to process one of ur art rants  
kaynyounot: jhin pls  
kaynyounot: GUYS HELP HES BEEN TYPING FOR SIX MINUTES   
jhinovaswitness: i stole his phone lmao- v   
jhinovaswitness: he aint even awake enough to grab it back -v  
kaynyounot: i stan a fucking legend  
coutabitch: oh thank christ  
cascouteau: we love u jhin, but if we have to scroll through another 2.5k word essay on how germanic symbolism is present in new english art, we actually will kill u   
jhinovaswitness: this is homophobia  
jhinovaswitness: this is jhin btw  
artemis: he punched me in the boob and then grabbed it while i was down this is assault  
cascouteau: guys i just fuckin realized something  
kaynyounot: que  
cascouteau: kat and i are the only ones who use our first names  
cascouteau: Why   
artemis: idk man i just have a cool last name but im fine w being called shauna  
coutabitch: come to think of it, im not sure i know kayns first name  
coutabitch: urs is khada right jhin??  
jhinovaswitness: ye   
jhinovaswitness: kayn is Oddly Silent at this moment  
kaynyounot:  
kaynyounot: this is harassment  
cascouteau: oml im curious now  
coutabitch: same??? ive only ever known u as kayn  
coutabitch: you do have a first name right  
kaynyounot: asdhgd yes i do i just,,,hate it   
kaynyounot: its a terrible name imo  
artemis: okay but what is it  
kaynyounot: it's shieda  
jhinovaswitness: thats so pretty wtf   
kaynyounot: okay but the Concept of it is Ugly its like the japanese bastardization of a turkish name  
cascouteau: ur turkish??  
kaynyounot: ye im a quarter turkish  
kaynyounot: quarter turkish quarter english half japanese  
jhinovaswitness: rt to the half japanese part  
kaynyounot: is anyone here actually Totally White  
cascouteau: nope  
coutabitch: no lol we're french and libyan   
artemis: nah im part native   
kaynyounot: true mixed hoes  
jhinovaswitness: i stan  
artemis: back to ur name its??? so pretty??? why do you hate it???  
coutabitch: rt shieda is a rlly nice name  
kaynyounot: it looks like shield but misspelled   
kaynyounot: also?? its terrible to say???   
cascouteau: well how is it pronounced  
kaynyounot: she-ehh-dah but you dont rlly pronounce the middle syllable  
kaynyounot: u know whats easier??? just calling me kayn  
artemis: will do  
artemis: but ur name is pretty and u shouldn't hate it im js   
cascouteau: get urself a supportive bitch like vayne  
coutabitch: rt  
jhinovaswitness: rt  
kaynyounot: rt  
artemis: <3  
kaynyounot: all of this positivity has banished my hangover  
kaynyounot: which is nice bc i have a web design quiz :) due in three minutes :)   
jhinovaswitness: rip  
artemis: godspeed young one


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an introduction to swain and rhaast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i decided to make rhaast's darkin mutations on kayn a port wine stain birthmark instead (you can google that if you dont know what it is) also!! perhaps a hint of Romance in the air

[Group: Tequila Fuckers]

 

jhinovaswitness: okay just a heads up im in a terrible mood rn so if anyone even Breathes in my direction i will kill u

coutabitch: duly noted

coutabitch: rough day?

jhinovaswitness: i have the worst artists block rn i want to die

artemis: would it make u feel better if i took u to michael's later

jhinovaswitness: ....maybe 

kaynyounot: gay 

artemis: shut your fuck kaynabatha

coutabitch: aoshdgsdf kayNABATHA

jhinovaswitness: i just fucking snorted oml vayne

kaynyounot: i did not come here to be OSTRICIZED 

artemis: it's,,,,ostracized

jhinovaswitness: i can always count on kayn's dumbassery to cheer me up

coutabitch: OSTRICIZED AHUDGAF

kaynyounot: hey cass where are u i made a mistake so EVERYONES BEING AN ASSHOLE ABT IT 

kaynyounot: JOIN IN ON THE FUN!!!

artemis: okay yeah where is cass

artemis: normally she'd be the first to start bullying kayn

cascouteau: sorry! im here! 

cascouteau: also tag urself im kayn thinking ostracized is spelled like the fucking bird

kaynyounot: i hate u ppl

cascouteau: anyway i was talking to a guy who just transferred here, he's in my earth sciences class and he's p cool

cascouteau: i think you guys would like him

artemis: add him to the chat

cascouteau: no gross i don't want to scare him by introducing him to you Heathens

jhinovaswitness: harsh, cass 

coutabitch: invite him

kaynyounot: expose him to the heathenhood 

artemis: im genuinely interesting in meeting him 

artemis: add him!!!

kaynyounot: add the thot

cascouteau: OKAY jfc fine i'll add him 

[cascouteau has added J. Swain to the chat]

[J. Swain. has changed their name to undercoversatan]

kaynyounot: he doesn't even know us and he already changed his name to undercoversatan

kaynyounot: what a fucking power move

undercoversatan: lol 

undercoversatan: tbf, all of your names are equally odd

jhinovaswitness: he got us there

undercoversatan: anyway!! my name is Jericho but u can call me Jer or Jeri if you want, I just transferred here a couple weeks ago from Whitewater 

undercoversatan: i'm a nutritional science major and i train hawks in my free time

kaynyounot: you...what  

jhinovaswitness: nice to meet u, im khada jhin and u can call me whatever u want, im a fine arts major

coutabitch: yea welcome to our hellchat, im katarina but u can call me kat 

cascouteau: im kats younger sister 

kaynyounot: are you guys ignoring the part where he TRAINS HAWKS 

artemis: im vayne and i'm prelaw but i room w/ jhin in the fine arts dorms

undercoversatan: why dont u room with the prelaw students???

artemis: the college thought the prelaw program would be Really Small so they made a really small dorm but then more students joined and they didn't have enough rooms so some of us had to just fill in other dorms 

undercoversatan: fair enough 

kaynyounot: hi im kayn im a graphic design major and im wondering why nobody else is questioning the fact that u train hawks

kaynyounot: train them to do what?? are they service hawks?? do they deliver messages?? What Are They Learning

undercoversatan: anyway i have to leave, lecture is starting soon

undercoversatan: it was nice meeting u guys!!! we can chat more later

cascouteau: see ya!! 

jhinovaswitness: farewell jeri

coutabitch: aww what a nice guy

artemis: ik, he seems pretty cool

kaynyounot: so we're all just gonna ignore the whole 'i train hawks in my free time'

jhinovaswitness: i want to see what he looks like, im Curious now 

cascouteau: oml i just realized

cascouteau: he's our first Totally White* gc member

artemis: asdhsd

coutabitch: why the asterisk

cascouteau: *he's like 1/8 navajo or smth but recognizes that he has no ties to native culture or life and doesn't claim that heritage 

jhinovaswitness: socioculturally aware AND a hawk trainer....what a Man

coutabitch: get u a freak like jeri 

kaynyounot: WHY ARE WE NOT QUESTIONING THE HAWK TRAINER PART 

kaynyounot: also i always thought u were older for some reason @cas

cascouteau: lol no i'm a year and a half younger

coutabitch: i just look younger bc i moisturize 

artemis: asdghsd

jhinovaswitness: honestly,,,a mood

jhinovaswitness: also are any of you willing to sit for a drawing session sometime?

jhinovaswitness: ive been drawing vayne recently but i think shes getting bored of it

artemis: im just not good with sitting still :(

cascouteau: yeah im down

coutabitch: same just hmu whenever you're free

jhinovaswitness: :D

kaynyounot: hey are any of you near the west dining hall

kaynyounot: i came alone and now some ppl are staring at rhaast and im Uncomfortable

coutabitch: rhwhat

artemis: im like five minutes away, i'll be right there

kaynyounot: lol rhaast is the name i gave to the huge winestain birthmark on my face 

kaynyounot: and the rest of my body 

kaynyounot: some girl is telling me abt how her too faced concealer could probably cover up "that thing" im

jhinovaswitness: wtf thats so rude

jhinovaswitness: who is it??

kaynyounot: idk she has blonde hair and a really bubbly voice i h8 it

coutabitch: please never say h8 again 

kaynyounot: h8rs gonna h8

cascouteau: im leaving the chat now goodbye 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kayn remains at the bottom of the pecking order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so choosing a last name for Zed was Difficult but I decided to go with Alter because it's a Hebrew last name and Zed is a Hebrew first name   
> Also most of the college detail is made up lol 
> 
> Pls like or comment if u liked this and I'll update sometime within the next four months ty

undercoversatan: hey I'm having an open training session this weekend do u guys want to come

jhinovaswitness: sure, which day?

undercoversatan: Saturday 7-8 and Sunday 4-5

cascouteau: kat and I can go Sunday I think

artemis: I'm also free

kaynyounot: are we finally gonna get to meet ur hawks

undercoversatan: yep! I have three I'll be showing at the training session but four in total

undercoversatan: nyx has a sprained wing so shes resting right now

jhinovaswitness: did you name all of your hawks after Greek deities?

kaynyounot: where do you just Aqcuire four hawks

kaynyounot: is there like?? a store or smth?? a hawk black market, perhaps??

undercoversatan: yeah, the others are named medusa, artemis, and hecate

undercoversatan: and technically none of them r mine, they belong to an exotic animal breeder

coutabitch: do u have pics of them

undercoversatan: [image attached]

undercoversatan: left to right: medusa, nyx, hecate, artemis

jhinovaswitness: tag yourself I'm medusa

coutabitch: kayn is nyx

cascouteau: sjfjancn

kaynyounot: why am I the one posing like an idiot

artemis: bc you're an idiot

kaynyounot: :(

undercoversatan: lol she does that all the time, idk why. I think she just really likes sticking her leg up

jhinovaswitness: it's a big mood

kaynyounot: l e g

cascouteau: thanks! i hate it

cascouteau: hey jer I think The Union is peforming this Thursday do u want to come w me and see them?

undercoversatan: sure!! They perform in wentz hall, right?

cascouteau: yeah, 8-11

undercoversatan: sounds good, I'll definitely be there!

coutabitch: can ya'll believe how fucking smooth cas is because I CAN'T

artemis: fuck you it's y'all

coutabitch: yal'l

jhinovaswitness: disgusting

kaynyounot: i can't remember the last time I witnessed a social interaction go that smoothly lmao

cascouteau: yeah it's bc me and jeri are the only functioning ppl in this group chat

artemis: wtf im functioning??

cascouteau: shit ur right

undercoversatan: jhin is also pretty functional imo

jhinovaswitness: I agree, and I'd also say that Kat is functional, if not Successful in most endeavors

coutabitch: <3

kaynyounot: wow thanks guys rlly feeling the love here

cascouteau: shut up kaynabatha you're a mess and you know it

undercoversatan: aiviajfjvja kaynabatha

kaynyounot: that is Not what my birth certificate says

cascouteau: shut up kaynabatha

kaynyounot: >:(

jhinovaswitness: Anyway, I'll be doing tech for the Union performance so stop backstage afterwards and I'll properly introduce myself

undercoversatan: i definitely will!! do you do theatre tech as a minor or just a hobby?

jhinovaswitness: just a hobby, I try to dabble in most arts for a bit

artemis: he's a well-rounded art hoe

jhinovaswitness: u right

undercoversatan: damn that's really cool! do you act as well?

jhinovaswitness: yeah! I've actually been trying to get Kayn to audition with musicals for me, but he Refuses

kaynyounot: because I?? can't sing????

jhinovaswitness: stfu you have a PERFECT tenor voice you're just a weenie about being on stage

artemis: lmaoo

cascouteau: drag him

artemis: fr tho kayn, I've heard you singing and you're really good

undercoversatan: I think you should just go for it!! the worst thing that can happen is you won't make the cast, and that's really not that big of a deal

jhinovaswitness: ^^^

coutabitch: this is sweet and all but you guys do know the real reason he won't go near musical theatre right?

kaynyounot: kat dont u fucking dare

jhinovaswitness: ???

cascouteau: no I do not

artemis: I sense there's tea to be spilled

kaynyounot: katarina i stfg

coutabitch: :)

undercoversatan: well??? what is it???

coutabitch: because kayn wants zed, the assistant director of the musical theatre department, to fuck him right into next week

kaynyounot: K A T

cascouteau: jcjanfkajcjsjfkajf

jhinovaswitness: omfl ZED?? I hate to inform you, but his standards are far too high for you, Sheida

kaynyounot: ok fuck all of u guys also u spelled it wrong dickhat

jhinovaswitness: i know oml i was just teasing

kaynyounot: >:(((

artemis: idk I think kayn has a chance

cascouteau: really??

artemis: yeah, massive twinks are Zed's type

undercoversatan: QJCJAJFNJAC

kaynyounot: FUCK YOU VAYNE IM A FUCKING TWUNK

jhinovaswitness: fucking OBLITERATED

coutabitch: hi 911 come quick I've just witnessed a murder

coutabitch: wait I think I did a group project with Zed last year or smth for english

coutabitch: i might still have his number

jhinovaswitness: ADD HIM

undercoversatan: oml fucking do it

kaynyounot: KAT NO

cascouteau: do iiiitttt

artemis: add him!!!

kaynyounot: kat PLEASE i am BEGGING YOU

coutabitch: :)

kaynyounot: have mercy pls

[coutabitch has added Z. Alter to the chat]

kaynyounot: fuck


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A forward movement of sorts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!! I'm back and before even a singular month has passed!!! I dont have a Ton to say about this chapter other than ive made zed the dad friend and nobody will change this
> 
> Also ty @ everyone who left kudos or comments!! I read and cherish all of them.

Z. Alter: do I actually know any of you or do you just have the wrong number

coutabitch: lol I'm katarina and I was in your literature and composition class last year

Z. Alter: okay, that rings a bell. I'm taking it that jhinovaswitness is Khada?

jhinovaswitness: Yep. Nice to see you, Zed.

Z. Alter: Nice to see you as well.

cascouteau: wow y'all are being WAY too formal for a group chat

cascouteau: I'm kat's younger sister btw

Z. Alter: I concluded as much from your last name

[Z. Alter has changed their name to twinshadows]

twinshadows: Is that better?

cascouteau: much

artemis: rt. I'm vayne and I've auditioned for,,like,,,two of your shows

undercoversatan: I'm Jericho or Jeri and I think I have an art elective with you

twinshadows: okay, all the names are ringing bells. is there any particular reason I'm here now?

jhinovaswitness: yeah. kayn, who has not introduced himself because he's a shit, has a beautiful voice but refuses to audition for musicals because he has awful stage fright. i was wondering if you could give him some advice.

[Private Chat: virtuoso, shadowreaper]

shadowreaper: SJCJAJF WHAT ARE YOU D O I N G

virtuoso: I'M SETTING YOU TWO UP JUST GO ALONG W IT

[Chat: tequila fuckers]

twinshadows: of course!! I take it kayn is kaynyounot?

kaynyounot: unfortunately yes

artemis: jfjsjfjs

twinshadows: Stage fright is super common and I dealt with it up until, like, two years ago. I've found one of the best techniques is to just remind myself that not much bad can happen if I mess up in either an audition or on stage. Realistically, the worst thing that can happen is you don't get cast for a show, or you mess up a scene. But if everyone else knows what they're doing, the show will go on.

undercoversatan: who else can hear the passion in his voice

cascouteau: me

coutabitch: me

artemis: what an inspiring theatre dad

kaynyounot: shhhh i wanna listen

artemis: this is ?? not a verbal interaction?? also he's been typing for like four minutes

twinshadows: And the most helpful thing I've learned is just to remember that I truly do love acting and once I get over the initial nerves of actually getting on stage, it all sort of melts away. So actually putting yourself out there for auditions is the biggest hurdle, and the rest will resolve itself.

twinshadows: And of course, it will fade with time- not entirely, but you'll become more comfortable with exposure.

twinshadows: The theatre department is going to be hosting auditions for Les Mis soon, and I would love to see you there!

kaynyounot: You can count on it. When are auditions?

jhinovaswitness: ??!?!?

cascouteau: wh

cascouteau: what

twinshadows: Roughly three weeks from now, October 12-15, in Swellow Hall. I look forward to seeing you there!

[twinshadows has left the chat]

artemis: AICJWJDJAJ WHAT

jhinovaswitness: oml

jhinovaswitness: holy shit kayn i didn't think you would actually GO THROUGH WITH IT

kaynyounot: listen

kaynyounot: i didn't either. it was kind of spur of the moment

kaynyounot: but there is very little that I will not do to potentially get zed to raw my ass

artemis: AKXJHAHFUEJSJHHDHSH

cascouteau: im gonna fucjn piss myself oh my g od

jhinovaswitness: oh my fucking god

jhinovaswitness: i would offer to accompany you to your audition, but after reading that, I'm afraid I would instantly start cackling like a hyena

undercoversatan: oh my god i almost gave myself a fucking asthma attack laughing and i dont even has asthma

artemis: kayn are u even a real fucking person

kaynyounot: given that I've been forcibly astral projecting for the past ten minutes??? not likely

jhinovaswitness: once we've all recovered and once kayn returns to his physical form, we should start looking for audition songs

kaynyounot: hhnnnnffhhgggggg do i really need to sing

coutabitch: yeah, you can't just suck him off and call it a day, as much as you would like to

kaynyounot: hey kat

kaynyounot: fuck u

coutabitch: sorry bby im not into twinks

kaynyounot: >:(

 

 


End file.
